News and social media have been inundated the last couple of weeks with news about two celebrity suicides, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Not to forget Avicii, Verne Troyer, and Robin Williams. You may have been one of the many people who might have reflected with others or yourself about these unfortunate incidents. I did too! While my reflections with others were more about why the particular celebrities might have taken that drastic final step, my own thoughts were poignantly more internal. In the deaths of all above celebrities, depression was a major cause, all having suffered from serious depression for years. What then about seemingly healthy, ordinary people who commit that one intentional act that calls curtains to life itself?
My thoughts took me back to those times when I felt so low, that the unspeakable crossed my mind. Over conversations with some of my close friends, they shared about how they also have experienced those lows when they lose hope and feel like ending it all. As you read this, maybe you also in your life have those moments when you felt THAT defeated. So what kept us alive? Me to write this and you to read this?
Talking from my own experiences I would say the first and foremost factor is:
1. Family and friends: The support system you have is a huge factor that keeps hopes alive. They are the first ones to shoot you down when you do something wrong but they are also first in line to pick you up after they are done butchering you. They stand by you like guardian angels and are first to read any signs of depression.
2. A soul twin: Everyone should have that one person that you share everything with. More would be fine too! This is the person who can judge your mood by the way you say ‘hello’ and will be the quickest to ask you ‘what’s wrong?’. I am lucky to have a few of those in my life and you should get one too if you don’t have any. They can be that difference between life and death in those crucial moments. I thank them from my heart, for being with me during some rough times.
3. Purge: Yes, something as simple as that can save your life. Getting rid of unwanted stuff in the house to people in your life is very important. If your house is cluttered and unorganized, you will reflect the same. An airy, open, clean, house transmits healthy thoughts and helps in your overall mental health. Similarly, if you have people in your life that cause you constant pain, its best to keep them at a distance. These are not necessarily bad people but maybe the association is not working and it’s time to purge.
4. Hobby: Remember those silly hobbies you had as a child? I went through the stamps, coins, matchbox (this one was fun because I was actually picking trash off the roads to the shock of my poor mother!) to a more sophisticated shot glasses today. Yes, they were and still are a silly hobby but it’s these infinitesimal acts that make one happy. Keep the child in you alive and look for something extraordinary in the prosaic world around you.
5. Passion: This one is more difficult and could actually be the savior and the cause leading up to that last act. It takes years to figure out what we are passionate about and many never do. Having something to look forward to every day, can make a difference in how we look at life. Likewise, many people feel depressed with the lack of a passion and are known to be the major cause of suicides in youth. What people need to understand here is that it’s okay not to cognize what your passion is; that clarity will come when you are ready. Until then, we can always rely on our hobbies. There are still many matchboxes left to be picked off the roads!
That intentional act carries no specifications and afflicts the rich, poor, famous, infamous, intellectuals and more. It is up to you to protect yourself from feeling so hopeless that it would seem like there was only one path left to travel. Surround yourself with people you love and love you back! Never let a stumble in your life be the end of your journey. And if you ever find you reached the end of the road, call someone or call me! I may not have solutions to your problems but I will be happy to listen 🙂